


Confessions

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: BixFreed [13]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, Requited Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-20 18:39:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16561178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: Freed has never been the best at expressing his feelings aloud, but when his efforts go unnoticed and the distance between him and Bickslow seemed to get worse, he finally manages to get the courage to put those feelings into words.





	Confessions

    Freed coughed weakly as he forced himself back up onto hands and knees, trying to ignore the way the world was spinning around him and the dull pain radiating through his side, instead scolding himself for letting himself get taken out by such a weak attack. _What was I doing?_ There hadn’t even been any reason for him to be so distracted, the three of them were at full strength, and the job was an easy one just to top up their rent for the month and yet…he sighed, fully aware that he had allowed himself to be distracted by the sound of Bickslow chortling wildly from behind him, instinctively turning at the sound, wanting to see the grin that he knew would be gracing the other man’s face. He had barely turned halfway around when the blast had taken him in the side, flinging him backwards until an inconveniently placed tree had stopped his flight.

     Grimacing, and well aware that he was going to be scolded when the others caught up with him, he carefully checked his side. He winced as he pressed down, but it didn’t feel as though he had broken anything much to his relief, but he had a feeling that he was going to have one hell of a bruise there for a while. However, he could deal with that later. If nothing was broken, he had to get back and help finish mopping up their opponents, although apparently even without a break that was harder than he had anticipated as he pushed himself back to his feet, breathing shallowly to avoid agitating his side. With difficulty he lent down and retrieved his sword, carefully sheathing it before forcing himself to step forward, hissing as his side throbbed with each step, but doing his best to push through the pain, especially as he realised that he could no longer hear the sound of fighting in the distance.

_Ever…Bickslow…_

   He had barely managed to stagger a couple of steps before he heard the sound of footsteps rushing towards him and he cursed silently, instinctively reaching for his sword only to pause as Evergreen and Bickslow burst into sight with worried expressions.

“Freed!”

“I’m all right,” he reassured them, lips quirking slightly as he caught the aggrieved glance they shared at having spoken in unison and struggling to stop himself from letting his gaze linger too long on Bickslow. He could have sworn that he had seen the crimson eyes lingering on him a moment too long, with something more than concern swimming in their depths, but there was no missing the dubious expression on the other man’s face as he studied Freed. “I think…” He found himself admitting sheepishly, well aware that it was his own fault. Especially when he was usually the one telling them that they needed to stay focused in battle, and he shifted uneasily as he felt Bickslow’s gaze boring into him, wincing as the movement jarred his side.

“You should be more careful,” Bickslow said and Freed flinched at the unusually harsh tone even as he caught the arm that the Seith mage had raised as though he was going to reach for him. Turquoise eyes widened as he met Bickslow’s gaze for a moment, stunned to see the real anger in the other man’s face, but before he could even think about saying anything Bickslow had turned away. “You and Evergreen should head back to the inn, I’ll finish things here.” It was clear from his tone that it wasn’t up for debate, and even though Freed wanted to argue, he couldn’t bring himself to do anything that would bring that sharp tone down on his head again and instead he nodded in agreement.

“Yeah…” _Damn it…_

“Freed?” Evergreen asked cautiously once the Seith mage had disappeared from sight, moving across to wrap a supportive arm around him and he sighed as he glanced at her, easily able to see the question in her eyes.

“Forget it,” he muttered, glancing back in the direction that Bickslow had taken. “Let’s just go back for now.” This had been happening more and more lately. Bickslow either responding explosively to the slightest hint of injury or hurt feelings or retreating into himself and he couldn’t blame Evergreen for looking worried, or for wanting answers, but he didn’t have any to give her, or at least none that he was willing to say aloud before he spoke to Bickslow. _If he will talk to me…_

****

    That had been four days ago. Since that job Bickslow seemed to be doing everything in his power to avoid the Rune mage, and yet every morning Freed would wake to find painkillers and a glass of water waiting for him as it turned out he had cracked a rib, and he had checked with Evergreen that she wasn’t the one doing it. Laxus was away on a job as well, which left only one culprit. Yet the moment Freed set foot in the same room or tried to speak to him the Seith mage would slip away without a word, and there was a bubble of irritation rising in Freed’s chest as he watched as yet again Bickslow moved out of the room.

   He wasn’t unaware of what the problem was. He would have had to be blind to miss the changes that had been occurring in their friendship over the past couple of years. Sideways glances when they thought the other wasn’t watching, touches lingering a little too long, gravitating towards one another whether they were at home, in the guild or on a job. The fierce need to make sure that the other one was safe in a fight, even to the point of recklessness. At first, he had just thought it was a sign that their team was growing closer, and they had, but it was more than that. Because no matter how much he looked out for Evergreen and Laxus, or how much he wanted to protect them, it paled in comparison to the sheer need to make sure that Bickslow was safe.

   Still, it had taken him a couple of months to accept the reason behind that need. The realisation had slowly been creeping up on him, but it had slammed into him after a job that had resulted in Bickslow winding up in the hospital for a week with a nasty head wound. That entire week he had barely strayed from the other man’s bedside, unable to calm the panic in his chest even when Bickslow had begun to recover, rapidly becoming his usual irritating self. It had been the warmth that had filled him at the sight of the bright grin on the Seith mage’s face the day that he had been released that had finally made him face the truth _._

_I love him…_

   He was too shy to just come out and blurt it out to Bickslow, still a little uncertain that the other mage felt the same, but he had tried his best to show it through his actions. He had always fussed over his teammates, he saw it as part of his job as Captain and then there was the promise he had made to Makarov years before that he would watch over Laxus. However, over the last few months, he had focused more than ever on Bickslow, going out of his way to make the Seith mage’s favourites when it was his turn to cook, buying more supplies so that Bickslow could repair his dolls when they were damaged in a battle. And more than once he had foolishly…recklessly stepped in the way to protect Bickslow in battle, even though deep inside he had known that the other man wasn’t in danger. However, it hadn’t had the effect he had hoped for, instead seeming to exacerbate the tension between them and he had been dismayed to find the Seith mage pulling away instead.

   At first, he had thought that it was a sign that he had been wrong, that the feelings he had acknowledged were one-sided and there had been a dull ache in his chest at that thought. But then he had seen the look on Bickslow’s face on the last job. The fear and concern that went beyond that which should be felt for a teammate before it had been buried beneath anger, and it had given Freed the hope that maybe he hadn’t been wrong, that perhaps he wasn’t alone in feeling like that. Which left him in a conundrum, because Bickslow was still avoiding him, making it impossible for him to get a proper read on him, let alone even begin to try and fix this, and he’d had enough.

_I have to fix this. I have to know…_

**

   Freed’s heart was pounding in his chest as he finally heard the sound of the front door opening. He had asked Evergreen if they could have the house to themselves for the evening. He wasn’t sure whether it had been the desperation in his voice or the fact that she was fed up of the tension between them, but she had immediately stuffed some clothes into a bag and headed out of the door wishing him luck and telling him that she would back in the morning _._ _I owe her something really nice for this,_ he thought, focusing on that thought in an attempt to calm his racing thoughts as he stepped into the hallway as he heard Bickslow heading up the stairs, determined not to let the Seith mage get away from him this time.

“Bickslow…” His voice caught in his throat as he met Bickslow’s gaze, the words he had planned to say getting trapped beneath his nerves. _Damn it, I had this planned out. I knew what I was going to say…_

   When Bickslow moved as though to step around him, he lunged forward and grabbed hold of him before he had even consciously decided what he was going to do. Let alone what he was going to say, and his mind went completely blank as Bickslow turned to look at him.

“Freed?” It was the first time since their last job that Bickslow had acknowledged him, and Freed was ashamed to feel tears stinging his eyes, and without thought he had moved and rested his head against the Seith mage’s shoulder, feeling the jolt that met his action. “Freed what are…?”

“Will you come with me?” Freed’s voice was low and strained, but at least he was getting the words out, and he was weak-kneed with relief when Bickslow silently nodded in agreement. Not quite trusting the other man not to try and take off on him again the Rune mage kept a tight hold on him, pulling into his bedroom and ignoring the strangled protest from Bickslow. Once they were inside and the door was shut behind them, he turned to Bickslow and began to gently push him back towards the bed, ignoring the twinges of pain from his side. “Sit down,” he ordered when they had reached the bed, realising that it had come up out harsher than he had intended, and he softened his tone as he added. “Please…”

“What is this about Freed?” Bickslow demanded even as he obeyed, reluctance written across his face and Freed flinched at his tone. _This isn’t how I wanted this to go…_ “Freed?” The Seith mage repeated, making as though to rise and Freed panicked, reaching out to rest a hand on his shoulder to stop him rising and not missing the flinch that met his action and he sighed, a pained expression crossing his face as he slowly pulled his hand away.

“It’s about this,” he whispered, struggling to maintain his courage as crimson eyes narrowed at him, and he found himself unable to hold Bickslow’s gaze, instead staring at a point between the other man’s feet as he added quietly. “This distance that you’re putting between this. About what has been happening for the last few months…”

“Freed…”

“No!” Freed cut across him, knowing that if he didn’t get the words out now, he was never going to get them out and he couldn’t let that happen. “I need to say this. I can’t stand things being like this, so please listen to me!” He sucked in a deep breath, risking a quick glance at Bickslow and faltering for a moment at the stunned expression that had replaced the previous reluctance, and he had to look away again as he continued, his voice trembling. “I like you…. I…I love you…and this, this hurts…” Freed gestured between them, still unable to bring himself to look at Bickslow, blinking back tears as he fought to keep his voice as level as possible. “I tried to show you because I didn’t know how to say it, but it just seemed to make things worse, and…”

    Bickslow found himself completely frozen in place, staring wide-eyed as Freed began to pace agitatedly in front of him, warmth flooding through him as he listened to the rambling confession unable to recall Freed ever being so open with his thoughts and feelings.

 _Freed_ …

   He knew that he had been hurting Freed with his behaviour, Evergreen had torn strips off him about it over the last couple of days, but he still hadn’t been able to find the courage to face Freed. He knew how he felt, and he knew that he could no longer go back to seeing Freed as nothing more than a friend and teammate and that had terrified him. He had never expected to feel like this, and he had no idea how to react to it, and so he had hidden from it. _I hurt him…_

   Listening to the stream of words, he was stunned to realise just how hard Freed had been trying in his own way to show him that he felt the same and he squeezed his eyes shut. _How did I miss this?_ Thinking back on it now, with Freed’s voice filling the air he was able to see it all, all the little clues that should have screamed at him that his feelings were returned. He had just been too hesitant to believe that Freed felt the same, and he swallowed as he opened his eyes again, catching the hitch in Freed’s voice and the way his voice was beginning to falter. _I have to do something_ , there was no way he couldn’t respond after hearing all this, well aware that Freed had never been the best at expressing his emotions, and especially as he was fairly sure that the Rune mage had revealed more than a few details that he probably hadn’t intended to.

   Freed had always found power in words. Whereas Bickslow found it in actions, and with a noise that was halfway between a laugh and a sob he lunged forward, hearing Freed cut himself off with a startled cry as his momentum carried them both to the ground and he only just managed to stop his weight falling on the injured Rune mage. Instead, he leaned over the other man, arms either side pinning Freed in place and he swallowed as he found himself staring into wide, tearful turquoise eyes, seeing the hope that Freed was trying to hide, and that gave him the courage to lean forward. He gave Freed enough time to protest or pull away if he wanted to, even as he prayed that he wouldn’t. A prayer that was answered, as instead Freed had leant up to meet him halfway.

    It was awkward and clumsy, made worse by their position and involving far too many teeth and tears as Freed had lost control of the tears he had been fighting to hold back. It was wet and messy, and perfect in its own way. There were butterflies in Bickslow’s stomach as they pulled apart, both of them breathing heavily as they stared at one another and he couldn’t stop the chuckle that bubbled up even as he leaned down to rest his forehead against Freed’s.

“I love you…” He whispered before capturing Freed’s lips again, this kiss gentler than the first as he tried to reply to Freed’s rambled confession with all the feelings that had been flooding his chest for months. The butterflies growing when they parted again, and he found that the other man was smiling up at him through his tears, a stunned expression on his face. It was Freed who moved this time, reaching up with trembling fingers to cup the Seith mage’s face, pushing himself up so that he could press a gentle kiss to the corner of Bickslow’s lips before kissing him properly. And Bickslow could feel him smiling into the kiss and that was the moment that he knew he was utterly lost.

_I love you…_


End file.
